Tonight, I realize that something has changed between me and the guy I love.
I’m at a holiday party when I notice it: in a crowded room full of chatter and hum. I’m making my rounds — a slow circuit from one little knot of friends to the next — when I look up just briefly and catch T’s eye across the room.
He flashes me a smile.
When I was newly married, some nine years ago, things were different.
If T and I went to a party, we’d spend most of the time arm in arm. I’d stand close to his shoulder and wait to be introduced to his friends. We moved through a crowd eternally linked.
These days, when the two of us enter a roomful of people, we almost immediately part ways, our circuits widening. Every so often, we’ll exchange glances, though…
A brief touch on the soft place at the inside of the elbow.
My arm threading under his for just a second as we meet at the middle of a room…
And then away from each other again.
It’s funny, but if you were to watch us from afar, it might look like we’re less connected to each other than we were a decade ago, but that’s not true. If anything, it’s the opposite: I feel T with me all the time now … His thoughts in my head, even.
It’s almost as, in our younger days, we needed the bridge of our bodies to communicate.
And now we’ve managed to build something a little freer than that — gone wireless, so to speak — the soul gently expanding beyond the limits of the skin…
Does this seem like nonsense to you?
Maybe it does to me, a little bit. But I also know it’s just true…
And it’s good. ❤