Maybe it’s just me, but lately I’ve been feeling like December is just … hard.
I don’t have any real emotional reason to feel that way: no family drama. No old holiday loss. If any thing, I’m happy… But I’m also exhausted. And I’m not just talking about my usual bouts with insomnia. I’m talking about soul-level exhaustion that I can feel in my body, right down to the muscle and bone…
Too many parties.
Too much food and wine.
Too much sparkle, too much spending, too many colors, too much noise, too much drivingbuyingrushingwrappingtalkingtalkingtalking.
I don’t know … Maybe it’s just me.
But I suspect not.
*
Earlier this week, though, I tell T I don’t want to plan anything for this night. We’ve had a double-booked calendar all week, but tonight … tonight I want nothingness.
So, halfway through our Sunday afternoon, we make a second pot of coffee in the Chemex.
And we laze around for hours and read.
We finish wrapping presents.
And I don’t know why, but at some point we dust off our matching ukuleles and decide we’re going to learn “Silent Night.”
*
It was September when T and I first took lessons. Back then, I remember how awkward my little ukulele felt against my chest, and how hard and sharp the strings felt, biting into the tips of my fingers. My hands never seemed to want to curl in the correct shapes.
This evening, though, I teach myself the simple chords, and after a few minutes of practice, everything just feels right: the curved mahogany against my breastbone. The gentle happy Hawaiian echo in every strum, reverberating through my skeleton.
As I play, I sing the old carol: Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright…
And suddenly I feel that silence… That calm.
The room fills up with quiet even as it’s flooded with music.
The hurry of the holidays falls away.
I feel the music in my body — in the muscle and in the bone – and I feel — for the briefest little moment –what it means to know heavenly peace. β€
Christmas has become madness. It’s not just you π
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You know that moment when someone says something that reminds you you’re not COMPLETELY crazy??
That.
Thank you. π
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I have just posted about everything feeling just right. I love that serendipity.
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Beautiful. Nothing like quiet meaningful music to sooth the soul.
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Indeed. Wishing you some quiet of your own today. I think we could all use it. β€
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Most definitely. Thank you.
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π
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I’m glad you found calm, so important to slow down and be in the currant space. The holidays are so hectic…
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Isn’t that the truth? Peace to you too, lady. And lots of creative flow!! π
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I’m learning that music is medicine… With no adverse side effects. Eggnog, on the other hand, makes you fat.
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Ha! π I’m not an eggnog girl. But I do love a good peppermint Irish coffee! π
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Awe! I want to hear you guys play. I’m still determined to learn the guitar.
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The ukulele is a little easier if you ever want to try something happy-sounding and sunshiney. And also, it’s kinda hip right now. ;). You’d love it!
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I have decided to see the magic of the season and not take too much stress about it. I believe it’s a matter of choice, it’s about what you choose to focus on.
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So true. I actually love parties and people — and sparkle and color, of course! — but it IS rather over stimulating, day after day like this.
I’m choosing peace. π
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Agree completely! and you are forced to be happy because it is Christmas, no matter what life is throwing at you! Loving your posts π
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Very true. I think it’s a hard season for a lot of people, for many different reasons. I’m grateful for so very much, but still feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the artificially imposed spending and gaiety (I’m actually perfectly okay with both, for the right reasons, but you hit the nail on the head … It feels uncomfortable to me when I’m around someone trying hard to be silly and happy and joyous when I sense they’re not. I just want to give them a hug and say that it’s absolutely okay not to be okay!!).
Lots to ponder here within your comment… Thanks for giving voice to that part of the experience. I’m grateful for your thoughts today. β€
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Has the peace stayed with you Alpha Zulu?
Hope so.
Happy new year. Bonne AnnΓ©e.
π
(Just back from traveling, with the pleasure of catching up)
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Welcome home!! (Always feels so good to be back after a long journey).
I’m feeling peaceful indeed. π
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