Can I say something honest to you?
I grew up in a world that talked a lot about God — a lot — and I’m not always comfortable with the things that world taught me about him.
Tonight, though, as I walk the streets on this darkest night of the year, I stop in front of a plywood manger scene in someone’s front yard. And I suddenly realize I’m grateful — so, so very grateful — for one thing:
I’m grateful that the God of my childhood was so physical, and so human…
A God in the shape of an infant, thrashing and crying in the straw.
A God who wept actual tears. Who bruised and bled and broke.
A God who tells me that the divine can, in fact, dwell in this place:
… this hardscrabble earth.
… this fast-fading skin.
*
I turn my hand over.
I trace the river-blue veins in the wrist.
I think about the spirit that flows through that living water, and I can’t help but say:
Oh, God … It is good. ❤
ASHLEY WILSON FELLERS 
Well, I’m grateful of the same thing too: it’s something that hepls me remembering that Somebody loves me even when if I’m just a human being, because He became human too!
Also, your posts are becoming a daily thing before starting my work routine: you have a talent for writing, for sure, and thanks for sharing everything you share with us. (and sorry for the very basic vocabulary and grammar of this comment but, not being a native english speaker, it’s hard for me to get out of the basics!) 😀
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Aw, thank you for that! How encouraging.
And no worries: we are all learning one language or another, and the best way to learn is to go ahead and speak, however imperfectly.
Glad you’re here! 🙂
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It’s very brave of you to be so honest in such an open forum! I’m always afraid to talk about God in my writing, but the way that I was taught to understand God as I was growing up definitely factored into my eating disorder, depression, anxiety, and sense of unworthiness, and on this recovery journey, I am finding a new understanding of my faith. Thank you for having the courage to share what is important to you!
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I completely understand so much here… I think truly recovering from an eating disorder is pretty much *always* a full-self recovery, by necessity. It’s not just about the body, but about the soul … And the spiritual is a part of that.
Wishing you a very beautiful journey as you work to undo some of those old lies and build something better…. It’s a painful process… But it’s good. ❤
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Very well said Thanks for sharing. I think we do forget at times he was human and bled as we do. Merry Christmas.
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Merry Christmas backatya! 🙂
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I am grateful to live in a country where I am allowed to have my own vision of what God is. My view doesn’t always follow the Lutherans. Wish every person in this world was allowed to have his own beliefs. No questions asked.
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Indeed.
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