doubt

Yesterday:

Gray sky.

Cold wind.

I wander down by the river, wondering (why do I still wonder?) whether I will find the Manna.  Whether it will be there for me, in this brief little window I have to go looking for it.

Something leads me, then, to a low place down by the water’s edge where the ground has collapsed into muddy cliffs.  The grass is matted down – a sign of old floodwaters here – and there are bits of garbage and broken glass caught in the weeds.  I don’t know why it is that I go slogging through the dirt, pushing through the scrubby dead underbrush, but I do.

And then.

At the very moment I reach the water, the sky opens like a sudden smile and the sun goes spangling down over everything, flashing over the river and pearling over the tops of the buildings in my little town beyond:

It’s like it was waiting for me.

I snap a photo, knowing the instant that I do so that this is it; this is Manna — that it will always be there, just when I need it.

I am learning.

I am still learning.

I carry the Light back home in my chest, realizing there are a thousand reasons to be grateful. ❤