Same Body, Second Glance: Last Look

August 10, 2014


Today my heart is hungry
for some new horizon.
I’m not talking about a place
you get to with a passport.
I’m talking about a place
you get to by opening your eyes.

And I want to reclaim
all the places inside me
overtaken by darkness–
dark not because the light
stopped shining
but because my soul
stopped seeing.


 {{Wondering what’s going on here??  Almost a year ago, I found myself on bad terms with the person in the mirror.  So I made a commitment:  every day for forty days, I’d take *one* photograph of my body that I could honestly see as beautiful.  This is the final installment.  Want to follow my journey?  Start here.}}


  1. Ashely my love, what a beautiful and also tough journey of the heart you are on! I’m so proud of you! The REAL you, created by your Father God and Jesus before the world was ever here. You are His beautiful design. Sink into the revelation of real Love! Love is the Person of God who adores and cherishes you ….. The same one Who told the proud waves where to stop! U r amazing Ashely! Let’s to an ‘aunt/Neice” weekend here in my Norf condo! Come to Big House Wonens Blast next weekend for a refreshing. (Check my fb and big house posts) you really are divine (II PETER 1:4) also II cor. 6:18! Xoxox

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Having just found your blog, I stumbled over this set of photos. As a photographer I found them fascinating and beautiful. You are right that light and dark is essential for photography especially black and white photography. You are a very attractive woman with a lovely body, and I think you have discovered that for yourself. We are all unique and all imperfect. The dance tutor who told you to have an operation on your legs lacked sensitivity and deprived you of much pleasure. We can’t all be the “best” but we can all be “winners”. Incidentally, I also follow a blog of a female artist who had a very low opinion of her body. She took a series of nude shots and posted a few of them on her blog. I’m not suggesting you should post nude photos, but the act of taking them can be very interesting.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate having you here and for your encouragemet and thoughts … I really loved taking this series of photos and find myself surprised by my own bravery and power every time I look back at them. I hope I have many more brave moments to come! 🙂

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    1. No important work we do in the heart ever has to end. ❤

      I'll be posting a new series soon, with additional photographs and personal essays on body image. I hope you'll stick around for it.

      So glad you're here! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for that question.

      It’s an ongoing journey, but I am in a much better place than I was then. Like pretty much every woman in the western world, I have days of self-loathing, but I know enough now to hear the lie in that little voice that tells me I’m not good enough. Which is a win.

      Being a woman is hard. Sometimes it’s crazy-hard. I don’t think I realized before starting this little project that it had been years since I looked at myself through my own eyes, and positioned myself as the soul arbiter of what was beautiful and good. If you made a lineup of any ten women on the street in just about any American city, I think you’d find that nine of them would have similar experiences to mine, even if those experiences hadn’t actually resulted in an eating disorder.

      Which is why I share what I’ve shared here. Sometimes making dents in the lies that we tell ourselves feels like taking a ball peen hammer to an iceberg … But. I’m doing what I can. And I know I’m not alone.

      And spring has a way of coming again, eventually. 🙂

      Thank you for asking!! Maybe that was more response than you were hoping for. But it’s honest. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My dear “Alfa Zulu” The only good response is an honest one. 🙂 No matter how long. And, to a certain extent, that’s what blogging is about. I understand that being a woman must be hard sometimes (many?) Tough it depends on the idiots facing you I guess. Idiocy i personally find hard to understand. (I’ve been a hard-boiled “feminist” since very young: I believe in Balance. Yin-Yang, male-female. Any unbalanced organization I’ve been in always was insufferable. e.g. the Army. Only men just then. And I guess female-only groups must be tough. Having said that, I believe women (in the West) have come a long way. My grandmother, for instance, was born in 1890. Voting rights in France were “given” to women in 1946. So she voted for the first time when she was 56… 🙂
        There are lots of jerks everywhere. Male (and female I guess), but we have to ignore others to find ourselves. And then be able to “go back” with others. The important thing is: love yourself. And if I can throw in a grain of sand: the best Boss I ever had was a woman. She taught me a lot. The best executives I ever hired? Women. 🙂
        So, one step further up from loving yourself: enjoy being a woman. And if you feel like spending a few minutes on an old post of mind, just click below:

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          1. My pleasure. I’ve always said to who cared to listen that women should run the world. smarter, more committed, more efficient, etc. And when you have turned the world into something better, then we can go fishing! 😉

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