Moment of honesty? For me, 2015 was a disorienting 365 days — full of deep heartache and astounding joy… I lost. I lost a lot. I lost relationships and social circles and beliefs I thought I was destined to keep, and yet somehow, I gained a hundred times that in new friends, new opportunities, rich community, and more […]
Tag: body image
The Body Electric: Day Sixteen
This evening, I asked T if he would take a few simple, spontaneous photographs with me … Not all of us, of course. Just our hands: And at first, I think he felt like the whole thing was a little strange… But then this happened: Sometimes, the photos say it all. ❤
The Body Electric: Day Fifteen
The thought comes to me yesterday while I am sitting quietly in the hairdresser’s chair, listening to the wet locks fall against the mat below me: those frayed ends have been around for awhile. They’ve seen things I’d like to forget, and they’ve also stuck with me long enough to watch me build a better version of […]
The Body Electric: Day Fourteen
This evening, I stand in the kitchen and chop. And saute. And stir. And smile. There are friends coming for dinner, and that makes me happy. These days, food makes me happy, too. * There was a time in my life where food didn’t make me happy. In fact, I was downright afraid of it. […]
The Body Electric: Day Twelve
I find the rose almost by accident. It grows along the stairs to the backyard, struggling to bloom against the warmth of the concrete wall, right now, in the middle of December. I lean over the railing and finger its pink petals in wonder: Could this be possible? Now? The rosebush is one of the […]
The Body Electric: Day Ten
Tonight, we drive out of the city and into the mountains: up a series of rutted gravel switchbacks to the top of the ridge. There’s an A-frame cabin up here that belongs to a friend, and as we walk to the front door I can hear music and laughter — the giddy hum of a […]
The Body Electric: Day Nine
Once upon a time, I was a little uncomfortable owning such a great-big pair of eyes. If you’ve been reading this blog for long, you’ve probably at some point seen my tiny Gravatar photo and realized that my eyes aren’t just big — they’re gigantic. And the trouble with that is you can generally spot what I’m […]
The Body Electric: Day Eight
I don’t know when exactly it happened, but somewhere in the course of my 34 years, I accepted the idea that most of my clothes would be uncomfortable. These days, I have a closet full of five-inch stilettos, nipped-waist pencil skirts and close-cut clothing in rough, hard-finish fabrics. And most of the time I’m completely fine with […]
The Body Electric: Day Six
I’ve always been a woman with nervous hands. The rest of my body is still and graceful by nature — balletic, after all these years. But I wear my tension in my hands, which are always folding and unfolding, pulling and smoothing and clenching and unclenching, as if engaged in an eternal game of […]
The Body Electric: Day Five
Today. I go out walking in the last of the light — before the sun winks out behind the mountains. I feel the cold in my lungs, the night coming on, and I think: It’s true, what they say. The twilight swallows us all. Still … For a moment … My shadow stands tall. […]
ASHLEY WILSON FELLERS 