Let’s talk …

A // W // F

Last week, quietly and without much fanfare, alpha // whiskey // foxtrot surpassed a milestone that still blows my mind a little bit:  by my latest check, I’ve got 1,066 followers and counting.

I’ll be honest:  this is both wonderful and a little unsettling.  Most days, I envision myself writing to about as many friends as I can fit around my dining room table. There’s a cozy envelope of good wine and candlelight-gleam and flickering shadow, and if I decide to tell a story, I’m leaning on some friend’s shoulder while my favorite jazz fills up all the empty space in the background … Safe.

All that to say:  if this space feels intimate to you, it’s at least partially because I view the writing process as intimate.  And so I’m still getting my head around what it means to be intimate in a space that feels a little bit less intimate all the time.

Which isn’t a bad thing — just different.

But maybe we can make this space feel more personal, even if there’s slightly less elbow room at the table than there used to be.  Which is why I thought I’d share a few basic things about myself that are important for you to know, if you’re new here:

 1.  I’m all about the beauty — and I mean that.

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Most humans need food, water, shelter and warmth.   I need those things, too … And I need beauty.

I need green leaves, moonwashed night skies, the electric hum of the city sparking to life in the dark.

I need photographs and paintings, dancing slippers and drawing pads.

And I guess I don’t need a vintage Victrola, but I sure would like one. (Anybody?)

All that to say:  keeping a blog offers me the space to make beauty, even — and especially — when it’s hard for me to find it out in the world.

2.  I’ve been married for more than nine years to this guy:

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T is the stable voice of reason to my gushy creative chatter:  the guy who pulls me out of the middle of the street when I’m standing there transfixed with my camera, shooting birds on rooftops while a car threatens to run me down.  (And yes, that’s actually happened.)

He’s the patient one who just sighs and turns over in his sleep when I get out of bed to get an idea on paper — again.

I’m crazy-lucky.

3.  I’ve been recovered from anorexia for more than a decade, and I feel crazy-lucky about that, too.

I’m long past the days when I worked to stay healthy.  Now, I get to work to be happy:  to live joyfully in my own skin.  To go easy on myself.  To love well.

It’s still hard sometimes.  But mostly, it’s kinda beautiful.

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4.  I’m an ENFP, and an Enneagram Type 4... a deeply creative, meditative and introspective person with a surprisingly sparkly social persona.  If you really want to know me better, go ahead and click those links — In spite of the tension that seems to exist between these descriptions, I’m about as textbook as they come.

So.  If you’re new here — what about you?  What makes you hum and glow?  Who keeps you grounded — or pushes you out from the dock?

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I’d love to get to know you better, too. ❤

28 Comments

  1. A beautiful and honest post. Right now I find myself oscillating between a very dark place and then when I’m with my kids, I’m the happiest that can be. They keep me grounded. They steer me towards the other side where rainbows and unicorns exist.

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Aren’t kids great for that?

      For a brief semester, I was the Writer in Residence at an elementary school, which basically just meant that once a week, for an hour at a go, I got to lead kids In writing poetry and fiction.

      I don’t have children of my own, so it was eye opening!

      I came away from that time just dumbfounded by the amount of energy and creativity and innovation that kids bring to the world… I tell people now that children are natural surrealists … It’s only in adulthood that we become realists, and loser the ability to see the rainbows and unicorns.

      I love that your kiddos being BOTH a sense of grounding AND a sense of wonder to your life.

      Wishing you lots of light today. Thank you for sharing!! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  2. Hi, as a new blogger with less than 10 followers I feel very much in awe of your achievement yet I already feel an affinity with you. I am an ENFP – introspective, sensitive, feeling person. My husband keeps me grounded and seeing the lighter side of life. Where I am serious and over-thinking he is funny and down to earth. We complement each other beautifully. Loving your posts! xx

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Go ENFPs! 🙂 We are a flighty, gushy, big-feeling bunch, aren’t we? But the world needs us.

      Glad to hear you have a partner who balances you so well … Me too!

      And I’m glad you’re here… All the way from the other side of the world. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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  3. Not surprisingly , I’m a textbook ENFP too! I write about it with some frequency. I’m in recovery from a myriad of addictions and compulsions. I write about that too, although as I’ve been blogging, my life has sort of taken off in a new direction. It has accelerated my healing, and while those things will always be a part of me, they seem very distant on most days.

    Your love for beauty shines through, and I need it, too. It’s one reason I’ve struggled a bit with Baton Rouge. There’s no “in my face” beauty.

    Keep writing. You are an inspiration.

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. A beautiful post. I applaud you for your honestly. And congrats on your years of marriage. It takes a special person to be with a writer, my wife grunts and sighs when my inspirations come. You have conquered and accomplished much in your life, and from them you can find the strength to defeat any future obstacles that may come your way. Keep writing. Have a wonderful weekend.

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  5. Congratulations on your 1,000+ followers! That’s a pretty impressive haul you’ve got there! With my blog, it is a bit closer to an intimate chat around a dinner table. Still, it used to be an intimate chat in a telephone booth, so that’s progress.

    It’s great that you found such a wonderful person to be with, and pulling you of the middle of the street is not the least significant of his tasks! (My goodness, watch out for trucks and things!) He looks to me to have kind eyes, so my guess about him is that he is a gentle, loving person. I hope you are not now going to tell me that he’s a professional alligator wrestler or something.

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    1. You made me laugh. 🙂

      He works in real estate, and spends most of his time negotiating. Which makes him a thoughtful and sensitive person, and I love that!

      Enjoy those quiet dinner-table conversations. Sometimes I think they make for the best kind of blog. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. Well, they say that a good negotiator is a good listener, so that can’t hurt.

        As for the dinner-table conversations on my blog, the good thing about them is I get to enjoy them without having to wash up the coffee mugs afterwards.

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  6. A newer follower here, I am really enjoying your blog, as I get back into it all after a summer break. I love that you are “all over the place” with your blog. Me too! May your writing continue to inspire you and others. Congratulations!

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        1. Oh, no… Hate it when that happens! I went back and scrolled through my notifications for unmoderated comments, and it’s definitely not there… I’m so sorry!

          Hopefully you can patch it back together. 🙂

          Like

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              1. Well I told something like that: I see your “beauty” and it seems what in my life have been the words. Quoting Byatt (Possession), “You understood my very phrase – the Life of Language. You understand – in my life Three – and Three alone have glimpsed – that the need to set down words – what I see, so – but words too, words mostly – words have been all my life, all my life – this need is like the Spider’s need who carries before her a huge Burden of Silk which she must spin out – the silk is her life, her home, her safety – her food and drink too – and if it is attacked or pulled down, why, what can she do but make more, spin afresh, design anew – you will say she is patient – so she is – she may also be Savage – it is her Nature – she Must – or die of Surfeit”. And that’s all about me… I think More or less. I have been suffering from an eating desease, too, so in a certain way I can understand something of you, but very little, I am not saying that it is sufficient suffering from the same “family” of disorder (I was involved in anorexia, in boulimia instead, which is really different) in order to understand another person, but I just want to say that I feel “near” you, in some way. And I really feel a home in your blog. Ah last… just another little info about mysels, I am married with a wonderful 3years daughter which is almost all my life! And I am a business lawyer, too. Well, I AM NOT a lawyer “inside”, to be honest, even if I am been working as lawyer for more than a decade :-D. I hope this reaches you this time… but just in case I have saved it 😀

                Liked by 1 person

              2. This is beautiful. I love the words you shared. Like you, I have no choice but to keep on spinning … It’s just in my nature.

                I’m so glad you feel at home here. Thank you for sharing. ❤

                Liked by 1 person

  9. “…I’ve got 1,066 followers and counting.”
    That’s because you are worth reading.
    Just keep doing exactly as you are doing. Don’t think about it. put down what’s in your heart.
    Congrats!!

    Liked by 1 person

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